Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Uncertainty

Well, life is pretty much summed up with one word... uncertainty.

Most of you know that I had a major health scare when I was hospitalized for pulmonary edema at the beginning of August. Most of the time, this condition is caused by congestive heart failure, which is exactly as it sounds. Blood isn't pumped effeciently from the lungs to the left atria and it backs up into the lungs, causing fluid to fill your lungs.

Lemme tell you... it ain't fun.

Generally the people who get congestive heart failure (CHF) are the elderly with weak heart muscles, chronic alcoholics, heavy smokers, narcotic overdosers, or people in severely high altitudes. I am none of these things, so it was a mystery as to why I would have all these symptoms. (shortness of breath, coughing, low pulse oxygen, low blood pressure, fluid in my lungs...)

I am exhibiting some of the same symptoms again, so today I am having an echocardiogram done... which is essentially an ultra sound of your heart.

I am uncertain of what the results will be. I am uncertain of how my life will play out if I do have CHF. I'm uncertain of how my life span may be altered if I do have it. I'm uncertain that if I don't have it, then what in the world is going on with me??

God never promises us certainty, save in this... He is good, He is faithful.... of that I AM certain!

I am no longer discouraged at all the crazy health problems I've had over the last 4 years. People live this way their entire lives, so I can to, if that's God's plan for me. I am joyful in the Lord. He sent these trials to me and will use them for my good and His glory. That brings me peace and anticipation of what miracles I may see because of my sufferings... not miracles in my own life, but in someone else's.
Friday, September 2, 2011

Renewal

My quiet time today was amazing! Colleen has so many great books. It has encouraged me to start building my "faith" library. In reading an excerpt from Milton Vincent's book "A Gospel Primer", I came across this...

When my flesh yearns for some prohibited thing, I must die. When called to do something I don't want to do, I must die. When I wish to be selfish and serve no one, I must die. When wanting to cling to wrongs done against me, I must die. When enticed by allurements of the world, I must die. When wishing to keep besetting sins secret, I must die. When wants that are borderline needs are left unmet, I must die. When dreams that are good seem shoved aside, I must die.

Honestly, dying to myself is SO HARD!! I need to be reminded every day... sigh. But God calls us to renew our minds every day, so I guess he knows that we aren't very good at remembering stuff.

Here is a verse that really spoke to me today:
2 Chor 4:16-17
Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.


And now.. a sweet face to make you smile... it sure does that for me!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Joy

Not enough of us truly experience joy. Well, I did today. I got the privilege of babysitting my nephews for a couple of hours today. We had a blast! I have the music from the Disney movie, Rio, and lemme tell you... it's FUN music! So, we got to dancin, and Joseph was cracking me up!!

Oh,  the faces he makes!! Here's another....
Although he looks a bit frightened in this one, I assure you, this IS a dance move of his... hey man, dance is subjective.

Work it, work it... yeah! I tell you, I was laughing so hard watching him dance. I couldn't get any good ones of Matthew.. his eyes were always half-closed, or he wouldn't face the camera.. you know, kids' stuff.


I haven't laughed as hard as I did today in a LONG time!! It felt really good! I am so thankful for a God that gives us funny things in life to laugh at.... like the cutest brown boys in the world.



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