This trip is all about self revival. Not just getting a great massage and a manicure and some "quiet time". It's about my relationship with God and reviving it.... remembering in whom I should be trusting and depending. I attended church with Colleen and Lucas today, and in Sunday school the message was Self Revival. I felt like he was speaking directly to me!

He led us through verses in Hosea, and Revelation where God spoke of his love for Israel, but how they were "turning from their first love" (God). Then there were lists upon lists of the things that happen over time when God is not your focus. I know that for me, hitting rock bottom, and wounding the man I love most in this entire world, (Joel) that it was my time for change... self revival.

Several questions were asked of us.
1. Was there a time in my life when I genuinely repented of my sin?
2. Was there a time in my life when I placed all my trust in Jesus Christ alone to save me?
3. Was there ever  time in my life when I completely surrendered to Jesus Christ as the Master and Lord of my life?

Thankfully, I can say yes to all three. I can also say that I was the happiest I had ever been when Jesus was in control of my life... I do an extremely poor job of running it myself.

Now on to the harder questions....

1. Do I love to read and meditate on the Word of God?
2. Are my personal devotions consistent and meaningful?
3. Do I apply God's Word to my everyday life?

Sadly, I can say yes to only one at the time. Revival and deep trust in the Lord doesn't just "happen" apparently. It is something we have to actively pursue. It is something I had turned away from for several years. Praise God that He's reviving me once again!!

I encourage you to ask yourself these questions. I see that I still have LOTS of work to do! Thank my Holy Father, that He is on my side and wants to help me. For without him, I can do nothing.

Funny example, yesterday, Matthew wanted to take his shirt off. He got permission, then proceeded with a several minute long battle with wriggling out of it. I offered to help him, and he said "No! I do it!". After watching a few more minutes of the struggle, I attempted just to grab and pull, to get it over-with. He resisted me yelling "No! No help me!". So, I gave up, and watched him struggle in vain to get this silly shirt off. He eventually gave up. He just couldn't do it without help.... he reminded me so much of myself. Why do I resist the Father's help? He is only trying to love and teach me! I'm still a child in need of SO much parenting from the Lord. I love learning through these boys.